Monday, December 13, 2010

The Socialist Song

I present the Socialist Song, sung to the music of the Lumberjack Song.

Barber: I'm a Socialist and I'm okay.  I sleep all night and I work all day.

American Founding Fathers: He's a Socalist and he's okay, he sleeps all night and he works all day.

Barber: I make my money, I author my books,
I go to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays I go shoppin'
And have buttered scones for tea.

American Founding Fathers: He makes his money, he authors his books,
He goes to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays he goes shopping
And have buttered scones for tea.

Barber: I make money, I skip and jump
I like to press wild flowers.
I burn the flag of the United States,
and hang around in bars.

American American Founding Fathers: He makes his money, he skips and jumps
He likes to press wild flowers.
He burns the flag of the United States,
and hang around in bars?
He's a Socialist and he's okay,
He sleeps all night and he works all day.


Barber: I make my money, I destroy the dollar,
the mark, and the lira,
I'd wish I'd been a Communist
Just like my dear Papa!

American Founding Fathers: He makes his money.  He destroys the dollar,
The mark, and the lira?
[All American Girl talking]
What's this? Wants to be a Communist?  Oh, my!
I thought you were so individualistic! Commie!!
[American Founding Fathers singing]
He's a Socialist and he's not okay
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
He spends the day restricting people's freedoms
In order to make us look bad.

6 comments:

A Paladin In Citadel said...

????

I don't get it. Why are you picking on Barbers?

Elton said...

It's in the original skit. The lumberjack was originally a barber.

A Paladin In Citadel said...

I still don't get it. Barbers are the ultimate capitalists. Lumberjacks too. And why don't Capitalists sleep? Stress? Guilt-induced insomnia?

Help me connect the dots here.

Anonymous said...

Not that hard, Paladin.

Everyone knows barbers are black-hole-worshipping astrologers.

Thus they should be skewered so.

Elton said...

Actually don't believe the Anonymous guy over there. It all has to do with the original skit. The original skit had a barber leaving his practice in order to become a lumberjack.

That's whats it all about. The anonymous guy doesn't know what he's talking about.

A Paladin In Citadel said...

Okay, I think I get it now. The barber left the barber's guild to join the lumberjack union. And he used to work the graveyard shift as an apprentice barber, that's why he was now sleeping at night, 'cause of those nasty lumberjack union rules preventing night-time tree-chopping (too many lumberjacks complaining of chopping off legs and fingers at night).

Damn those socialists, and their anti-capitalist notions of worker health and safety! And free-time to boot, to author their books ... I lament the end of the 12-hour work-day and introduction of paid overtime. A travesty against capitalism, I say!

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