Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Songs have been sung about it.
Wars have been fought for it.
People have made sacrifices for it.
However, truly, people don't understand true friendship. Nor do they understand what truly fuels a friendship -- Love. Love is probably the most misunderstood emotion in all of human experience. People don't know what love truly is, so they often associate other things with the word love (like sadism and masochism). Sometimes, love can be falsely felt -- or be mistaken for some other emotion like desperation. But this is the Truth about Love: it is totally accepting the others for who they are and what they do.
My own deep experience with one person that I love deeply has taught me this. True friendship is not greed oriented, or oriented on one's needs to for one self over the expense of others. It's based in love and fueled by love. True acceptance of one's own Self and others.
Commonly, people express love through the joy of sex. Sexual fulfillment, sexual pleasure, and sexual conjugation is very important to relationships if they are to survive. Sex is the glue that holds a relationship together: it can better relationships -- as people who have sex every day can often attest. However, there is an equally powerful way for a relationship to build. This is true friendship. A true friendship is one without limits: no blood ties. No law of any kind can forbid it.
It is also for these reasons that true friendship is also dangerous. It lives without limits. There is no limit to a true friendship: nothing can stop it from being expressed. No blood ties can break it, no limits of the law can smash it, no cannon law can damn it up. Death cannot end it.
Take me for instance. I love a woman; even though she is my first cousin and the wife of another man. She inspires me to aspire to be my best self. She really exalts me, and has me thinking more of exaltation than of damnation. She increases every attribute inside of me that is good, and inspires me to succeed as a man. You can say that she is, and I consider her to be, my best friend.
Since she is married, I can not explore the sexual dimension of our relationship. It's off limits, and if I were -- some unwanted, and undesired, consequences would follow. So, I chose to go the way of true friendship. At least my part in our relationship will be true friendship. Friendship without limits, no blood ties, no law can stop it. Everything that I have is hers, if she wants and needs it.
This is the way I choose to express my love for her. It's not the wrong way to express it. :)